Celebrating. . .kind of.

The past three days have been a lot of fun. Things haven't gone the way I'd planned or hoped for, but I have really enjoyed my family. I took Sunday off. I didn't do anything that wasn't urgent. My husband and children hooked me up with some very nice cards and a plant with pretty flowers. Then we found out they chose a toxic plant, so I'm not sure what we are going to do with it. It was a sweet gesture though.
Yesterday I spent trying to get things ready for my husband's birthday celebration today. His birthday is later in the week but he will be at work then so we celebrated today. I took about an hours drive to try to pick up his best childhood friend. I had talked to the friend a couple of weeks ago and he seemed excited to come but when I got there today no one answered the door. I was really bummed out since this was the main part of my husbands birthday gift, but there was nothing I could do about it. I left feeling very disappointed, but about halfway home I asked myself why I was so disappointed. I realized then that I was more disappointed that I didn't have this surprise to present to my husband which he would be grateful to me for than I was that he wouldn't get that day with his friend. I wished he had gotten to spend the day with his friend, but it was more important to me that I be recognized for thinking of such a great gift. It is all too easy for me to live as though I think I should hold a lot more gravitational pull than I do. It wasn't my birthday, but even in the midst of trying to do something nice my focus was on me. I pray that some day I will be able to be able to do something nice for someone because it is what I want to do instead of due to the way I think it will make them feel about me. I'm getting there, I know. It's taking a lot of baby steps, but I know this never would have occurred to me before so at least I was able to catch it fairly early and try to shift my focus. May God bless you and keep you and may you take time to notice.